Still alive, but the other one is bleeding.

Maybe I should stop with my randomness. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe I should start with my entries. I should write a title that is berkenaan. Usually my titles are random. Selalunya ikut lagu apa I was listening to at the time of writing.

Okey Tuan Tuan dan Puan Puan,

Hari ini, I feel like telling my side of the story. Actually, I have an inner conflict with myself. I seriously think that I have personality disorder, kerana, one minute I'm like all baik hati and the next minute I am like worse than your mak tiri. Serious. No kidding. I dah lama perasan, but I have never acknowledge it. Mana ada orang gila mengaku gila rite? Something like that laa. Anywhoo, this syndrome of mine has becoming worse and worse. Dia (si syndrome la!) ada like beberapa phase. Ye! I have identified it.

Phase 1

Sangat cool menerima kenyataan/berita. Semasa phase ini, everything that comes out from my mouth semua nya indah indah belaka.

Phase 2

Tiba tiba jadi marah. Maybe baru berfikir kot. Maybe. Usually at this phase lah berlakunya percakaran bahasa kerana its my words against yours. I'll say something that is totally the opposite of the first phase.

Phase 3

Paranoid. Ye. Here, everything pon I will try to kaitkan. Even to the extent of the smallest thing. Masa ini, percakaran hebat akan berlaku. *Phase 2 and 3 boleh tukar tukar. Sometimes Phase 3 dulu then baru Phase 2*

Phase 4

Kembali cool. Otak kembali berfungsi barangkali.

Gilos.

Tu lah dia. It's really irritating actually because sometimes I myself pon tak agree with whatever I am saying. Like the other day, a past of ours dropped by and at first I am like all cool about it. Siap kesian lagi! Then, all of the sudden, jadi paranoid. Marah tak tentu hala. Check sana sini, gali gali dan gali everything. OMG. Macam nak gila okey. And then bila dah bincang, br sedar. Like finally my brain starts to work. Baru can put everthing and sort things out.

Gila kah Aku?

Maybe I am just too emotional over everything. Plus my kuat menyakat Kekasih doesn't help at all. Sometimes susah nak beza whether he is telling the truth or not. So, when this happens I usually ignore him and move on to whatever topic that comes popping. TAPI. My instict adalah teramat kuat. That's a gift **bongkak kan?** Especially to Drummer boi. Ada sometimes that I know my facts but just because it's not evidence based, I had to just keep it to myself. Boooooooooo.

But rata rata, I am what I am. Marah tu sekejap sahaja. I am not the type of person who can be mad for long. And I sangatlah cepat kesian kat orang. So berbalik to the past of ours tu, I really feel that beliau ada masalah sebanarnya and beliau tak tau nak bagitau who. That's why beliau did what beliau did. Tapi, kalau nearly everyday communicate is like fishy la. If beliau ada problem, why don't you just say it? You know we don't judge. Macamlah tak kenal (kami).

Oh. Happy Advanced Deewali to Makonah.