AinFadzil.

Will love you, always.

Its been raining for days, and secretly I'm enjoying it! I love the rain. I love how cozy and sleepy the rain makes me feel. *_* Yes! U guessed it right, I am a sucker for the bed. I can literally sleep all day and all night.

Anyway....

There's nothing to blog about actually. And I blame Drummer boi for this! Ever since I met him, my diary has been abandoned and I can't seem to write. By right, given the emotional roller coaster I have been going through there must been loads to write about, but no. Nothing. Nada. Nil. Zero.

Is it just me or everyone else feels and goes through the same thing?

Drummer boi surprised me with a stray kitten yesterday. A cute stripy black-brown stray kitten. Its fluffy and hell scared of people! But after awhile she kinda like got the idea of having crazy people around her, pinching and picking her up. She superrrr mengada! Yup! For *someone* who is terrified of people, she soooooo mengada! First she wont makan if you don't initially suap her. Then she wont drink unless u spoon it to her, and she likes to be the center of attention! The moment we started to get back to our own business she'll starts to whine until you tegur her. Even just to 'acknowledge' her whining! Crazy mengada! LOL But despite all that, I have give a little credit on not scratching me or go crazy on me when I gave her the very first bath :) Momma taught you good.

Drummer boi called her Stella yesterday. I didn't like that name. *I always don't agree with Dboi when it comes to names* I want to call her Vera. For Vera Wang ;) But the kenits call her Ce-cat/Ke-cat which sounds cute! I oso thought of calling her Birkin! HAHA Up to this point, there is no specific name for her. Don't worry love, you soon will have one :)

That's the highlight of my life so far.

Will write to you soon. Very soon I hope. Owh, anyway. Dboi told me that I can start filling 'the' Box. He said that I can buy or make whatever I want to fill in 'the' Box. If you're wondering what's 'the' Box is, stay tuned.....

xoxo.

Take a bullet straight to my brain.

Holla.

Its been awhile huh? 2011 has been to date the most hectic and packed year. And it has only been a month! School is getting tougher and tougher each day, preparing for my thesis project is no easy peasy I tell you. Family is fine, and so is Drummer Boi. The only one who has been okey is ME! Yup I have been pretty emotional this lately. Maybe due to the endless work load and basically mentally stressed out. Humm.

Anyway, since I am shy of words *ritteeee* here are some of the high lights of 2010 (SOME)

*credits to HB4*

Testis.

Happy new year peeps! ;))

See no touch.

Recap of the 5 weeks in AS.

* I am just soooo in love with myself*

I can see you with me when I'm older.

Hallooooo.

First and foremost, I just wanna clarify something, I am seriously in love *don't hate* !

On a lighter note, after 5 weeks in AS I still feel the same. I miss home, I miss Drummer boi, I miss the shopping malls. Yup. The shopping malls, and the freshly baked Famous Amos. Although we have tons of fun here, I can't help to wonder what everybody is doing at home.

To be honest, although I whine about being here, 5 weeks flu so quickly. Dalam sedar tak sedar, it has already been 5 weeks. Which means I have like 3 more weeks je here. Yeay? :) Patients here has been great. The nurses are kind and very respectful. Today, while is was doing passive movement to one of my patient, a Chinese uncle who goes by the name Uncle O, he suddenly look at me and said " hang ni baguih no, gheja kat spital. Hang baaaaaik hati no." I nearly cried.

I do what I do because I choose to do it. I just feel that it is my responsibility to help others in need. Tapi, I garang okey. Ada je patient yang I selamba yaya je sound. Bukan apa, I know la your in pain and all but if you bloody do it, nanti its double the job for me and you! So buat je la masa orang suruh! Like one Makcik ni, she had a high AKA (above knee amputation). I know la you seriau nak gerak and do exercise but you just have to, Kalau tak satu body weak and susah for you to get back to your active daily living. But NOOOOOO, you Makcik just have to membebel at my ears and say things as though I have no hati and perasaan. Pffft to you!

Owh.

By the way, I helped an MO while he was doing a debritement (Surgical excision of dead, devitalized, or contaminated tissue and removal of foreign matter from a wound). Yup! I helped. Haruslaah di tulis di dalam buku log ye. :)

Okey, so far itu sahaja lah highlights bagi minggu ini. Mungkin minggu lain akan lebih bermakna. *cross fingers* Hopes Drummer boi would come and visit :))

Much Love!

Gelema banyak susah nak bernyawa.

Relationships last long because two brave people made a choice: "To keep it, to fight for it and to work for it!"

Okey, it has been tooooo long since my last entry. Anyway, AS has starting to treat me good. Though the food is still unsatisfying but generally, the adaptation period is finally over. Now, I can sleep whenever I shut my eyes, able to talk to Drummer Boi without tears rolling down my cheeks and chillex a 'lil :) The hospital is great. Though ada laa beberapa Therapist that kinda on poyo in their own way. Standart laa semua itu! Sudah menjadi adat students untuk bertemu dengan therapist therapist yang baru kerja 2 tahun tetapi berlagak mengalahkan U41!

We are all so tak senonoh here. We made one of the therapist here believed that she printed our jadual wrongly but reality is that we all tak mau ikut this one particular poyo therapist. Sian! :) And the best part is that we did it TWICE! She totally bought it and when along with whatever we said. Mdm, incase you're like reading this, I AM SORRY ;)

On a lighter note, I always find myself giggling underneath my mask masa kat wad and its always because of the language/slang. The other day my patient was complaining of "gelema banyak susah pakcik nak bernyawa" and I was like WTH is "gelema" and "bernyawa"? if susah nak bernyawa, mati la pakcik. It turns out that what pakcik was saying is that he has banyak phlegm, susah nak bernafas :) Apa-apa pon, hangpa mesti nak kena tau yang kami dah mula selesa dekat sini.

Cinta hati kata dia nak mai jenguk kami, but God knows bila. The other day he was in Penang but too busy for me. Yesterday pi Ipoh pulak. Next week he's leaving me for an Indon gig. Busy bee.

All women love a man who smells good.

* Gambar adalah hiasan semata mata *

I have a real soft spot in my heart for librarians and people who care about books.

Much Love from Alor Star!

I Love. I Do.

Selamat Belated Hari Raya AidilAdha!

Much Love from Alor Star :)

Donch Like.

I come alive at the night time.

*love*

Straw to my berry.

"And in time I know that we'll both see
That we're all we need."

Miles away from those i love, Purpose undefined.

Today I am parted from all my favorite people. Let me tell you, it feels like the first time. Macam tak pernah pegi posting pulak! Padahal, I've been to Kuala Pilah, Sg. Petani, Muar, and not forgetting my 5 years in KYS Malacca. I am the only one kat rumah tu yang travels around. *Not including Tuan Adkaa*

"There's nothing here for me on this barren road, There's no one here while the city sleeps, And all the shops are closed."

OMG! Were they singging about AS?!

Happy happy, joy joy.

As long as we'r together.

"Boys have 1001 ways to lie, but girls have 1002 ways to figured it out."

I totally agree!

xoxo.

:)

Every women deserves a man who looks at her every day like it's the first time he saw her.

- factsaboutboys.

Listen.

xoxo,

Yours truly.

Parachute.

To whom it may concern,

Honestly, we have no problem of the communication bridge you are trying to build. Maybe at first hari tu. Now, not anymore. We know what's the present and what's the past. We are all every clear of it. So, if there is something bothering you, you know we are all ears. We have no problems in being the shoulder to cry on. And if the reason of communication was to ask for forgiveness, we already forgave you a long time ago. We don't hold grudges. You know that.

Now, it is becoming routine for you, can you honestly tell us what's the reason being?

Still alive, but the other one is bleeding.

Maybe I should stop with my randomness. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe I should start with my entries. I should write a title that is berkenaan. Usually my titles are random. Selalunya ikut lagu apa I was listening to at the time of writing.

Okey Tuan Tuan dan Puan Puan,

Hari ini, I feel like telling my side of the story. Actually, I have an inner conflict with myself. I seriously think that I have personality disorder, kerana, one minute I'm like all baik hati and the next minute I am like worse than your mak tiri. Serious. No kidding. I dah lama perasan, but I have never acknowledge it. Mana ada orang gila mengaku gila rite? Something like that laa. Anywhoo, this syndrome of mine has becoming worse and worse. Dia (si syndrome la!) ada like beberapa phase. Ye! I have identified it.

Phase 1

Sangat cool menerima kenyataan/berita. Semasa phase ini, everything that comes out from my mouth semua nya indah indah belaka.

Phase 2

Tiba tiba jadi marah. Maybe baru berfikir kot. Maybe. Usually at this phase lah berlakunya percakaran bahasa kerana its my words against yours. I'll say something that is totally the opposite of the first phase.

Phase 3

Paranoid. Ye. Here, everything pon I will try to kaitkan. Even to the extent of the smallest thing. Masa ini, percakaran hebat akan berlaku. *Phase 2 and 3 boleh tukar tukar. Sometimes Phase 3 dulu then baru Phase 2*

Phase 4

Kembali cool. Otak kembali berfungsi barangkali.

Gilos.

Tu lah dia. It's really irritating actually because sometimes I myself pon tak agree with whatever I am saying. Like the other day, a past of ours dropped by and at first I am like all cool about it. Siap kesian lagi! Then, all of the sudden, jadi paranoid. Marah tak tentu hala. Check sana sini, gali gali dan gali everything. OMG. Macam nak gila okey. And then bila dah bincang, br sedar. Like finally my brain starts to work. Baru can put everthing and sort things out.

Gila kah Aku?

Maybe I am just too emotional over everything. Plus my kuat menyakat Kekasih doesn't help at all. Sometimes susah nak beza whether he is telling the truth or not. So, when this happens I usually ignore him and move on to whatever topic that comes popping. TAPI. My instict adalah teramat kuat. That's a gift **bongkak kan?** Especially to Drummer boi. Ada sometimes that I know my facts but just because it's not evidence based, I had to just keep it to myself. Boooooooooo.

But rata rata, I am what I am. Marah tu sekejap sahaja. I am not the type of person who can be mad for long. And I sangatlah cepat kesian kat orang. So berbalik to the past of ours tu, I really feel that beliau ada masalah sebanarnya and beliau tak tau nak bagitau who. That's why beliau did what beliau did. Tapi, kalau nearly everyday communicate is like fishy la. If beliau ada problem, why don't you just say it? You know we don't judge. Macamlah tak kenal (kami).

Oh. Happy Advanced Deewali to Makonah.

Taking all of my energy.

Question : Can love be upgraded?

The reason for this is because Drummer boi told me just now that he wants to upgrade his love for me. Possible ke? What does he means by upgrade. Before this downgrade ke? *sigh* Kalau nak upgrade the stone on my finger ni, best juga ;) Ever since he said about upgrading, the only thing that's stuck in my head is Beyonce's song "Upgrade U". So much blings in that video. *suka*

Random-Me-Time : I know that I am supposed to be studying now but I can take breaks don't I? ;)

Anyway, I am pretty sure that a lot of people have experience love by now. And let me tell you something, I love being in love (especially when with the right person). What's not to love about being in love? First and foremost, when you're in love, everything seems so bright and colorful. It boosts your energy and it somehow makes your eyes shine a little brighter. Plus, having someone there for you just comforts the hell out of you.

I know, love is very subjective. Maybe McD's Chocolate Milkshake and Swirl Yogurt by CoffeeBean works its magic everytime for me and not for some people. But whatever it is, Love never fails to put a smile on your face. Agree? To those who are not (yet) in love, don't rush it. When it happens it happens.

Owh and by the way, there are some tips that I want to share with those who are not yet in a relationship or for those who are but no quite in love or ... anyone.

1. Always be yourself no matter what, don't pretend. (Changing for the better doesn't fall in this category.) It is always important to be yourself because you can't forever and ever pretend to be someone you are not. One day you will eventually grow tired of pretending and that is when it is too late for anything. Besides, the person you are with is supposed to be in love with the real you. Regardless.

2.Don't pretend to be happy when you are not. If you are not happy, leave. What is the point on trying after the em-th time and you know all you do is hurt yourself. If it ain't working the first few times, it is best to just leave. Keep this in mind, not all relationship is supposed to last. You have to make mistakes in order to grow.

3.It's okey to cry, even for the wrong person. Yup, hard to digest but its true. Crying does not mean your weak, it just means you are fragile :) Do you know that crying releases stress? According to a study, the natural body function to relieve stress, anxiety and other emotional build-ups is CRYING. You should allow yourself to cry then.

4.Love the person you are with. If he can love you for who you are, why can't you? First rule in loving another is to stop complaining and/or comparing. The person is who he is. Learn to love that person although he farts on you hand. Seriously.*okey,farting maybe too intense for some people.It's just an example* No one is perfect, ladies and gents. Not even you! So, let yourself love the person you are with. There's no harm in trying. But, if it's not working, get your ass outta there, PRONTO!

**Alamak! I really have to go. Will continue later, orait? *pinky promise* Spread the love uolls**